Well, just a few updates for today.
Marion received her Medicaid number today, and she'll be able to use that for her treatments, testing, and primary care as well. It was quite a relief to get the news so quickly (four days is really quick when dealing with governmental benefits).
She was also scheduled for her first series of tests to determine the stage of the cancer. Her first test will be a PET scan on Monday at a Cooper Hospital facility in Voorhees. The following day, she needs to get her pre-op blood work done in Camden. This will include a CBC, urine sample, and chest x ray. Then, on the 18th, she'll have a couple procedures done at Cooper. The first is a cystoscopy. The second is a proctosigmoidoscopy, I think. I'm not too clear on the second test, but they'll be completed both on the 18th. I'll clarify with the doctors and update this.
Other than that, there's not too much to report. Marion is doing very well, and as I've said before, she continues to amaze me with how she's taking this. She's has a very positive mindset, and I honestly believe that is helpful to the cause.
Like I said, not much to report.
Taking a day by day journey through the diagnosis of cancer.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
From a friend.
The video I'm passing on is from a friend. It's posted on my facebook account as well. But, some of the readers of this blog aren't on my facebook, and the message in this video is something that touched me.
A bit about the poet seen above. She may have "lost" (whatever that means) her battle, but in her last performance, she really puts it all in perspective. Life does change forever once you hear that diagnosis. It changes (obviously) for the person that it's directed to as well as the people that love them. Link to her obit.
What I want most is something meaningful to happen from all this. Whether that's through fundraising for cancer research organizations or getting the word out about the NJ CEED program (which I am so thankful for); I want to do something. I'm working on that. I feel that could be the project I have been looking for.
A bit about the poet seen above. She may have "lost" (whatever that means) her battle, but in her last performance, she really puts it all in perspective. Life does change forever once you hear that diagnosis. It changes (obviously) for the person that it's directed to as well as the people that love them. Link to her obit.
What I want most is something meaningful to happen from all this. Whether that's through fundraising for cancer research organizations or getting the word out about the NJ CEED program (which I am so thankful for); I want to do something. I'm working on that. I feel that could be the project I have been looking for.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Health Care in the Modern World and other dreams...
As I sit here and just think about things, I just always thought things would be better than how they turned out for me. This isn't just about Marion's condition. I just thought there was more to life than *this*. I'm really an optimist at heart and have always followed what I felt were my dreams. When I was 25, I went back to college to follow a dream. While that three year experiment could have went so much better, I am glad I did it (and honestly am a better person for doing all of it).
It's just I always thought that hard work and dedication would be rewarded. I realize now that a lot of luck goes into that as well. You need a break or two along the way and I have never had especially good luck. But, that's the way life goes.
Anyway, I was also thinking about the state in this country about health care. Being in a situation where you don't have insurance and you have a really high cost disease like cancer makes you feel helpless. But, why, when you live in a country as great as America does something like that happen? I mean, countries like Canada, Great Britain, and France, the people don't have to worry about these things. Health care is accepted as being the cornerstone of a great country. Why the hell in America do we have people that don't get preventative care, or worse don't seek out a doctor when they need to see one?
When this whole thing with Marion started, we didn't want to go to the hospital because of the cost of seeing a doctor. What kind of world is that? What kind of thinking pattern is it where you would risk your health because of the costs associated with this very basic need? At the time of her first ER trip, Marion had abnormal bleeding for about two months. It wasn't heavy bleeding as of yet, but it was still a concern. When it became heavy bleeding, that's when we *had* to go to the hospital. Still, why did we wait? Because of the immense cost associated with stepping foot into the health care system.
It was actually a question that was asked of us more than once. During the admission process at the first ER trip, Marion was asked why she didn't get this checked out before. I looked at this guy and said, "Because we don't have insurance, and coming here is really expensive." She was asked that question a few more times, and the response I gave was the same as before.
HMOs were one of Nixon's greatest legacies. He signed into law the HMO Act of 1973 that required employers to offer HMOs if they 25 or more employees. Yet, the main reason they were created was to make Health Care in America more of a cash cow as it already was. It was created for the money to roll in, and for the rich to get richer.
Maybe I just don't fathom the costs of health care. But, when I look at the bills, does it really cost 500 or so dollars to read a Cat Scan? Does it cost twenty dollars for a Percocet? Does a trip to the ER (not including the associated Doctor cost) really cost 1700 dollars? I mean, seriously? Why are these costs so inflated? Maybe it has something to do with the doctors trying to pay back 8 years worth of student loans? Or, maybe it has something to do with inflated operating costs? I really can't say as I'm not an economist; I'm just a guy who wants Marion to be okay.
Which brings me to the fact that I feel while the health care reform that went through last year was a step in the right direction, it still didn't address the real issue of having universal health care for everyone. I'm not taking away from the sweeping changes in the system at all. Health care has been an issue for Presidents since FDR, and Obama finally got something started. Well, he got things more than started. But, there is still work to do for sure. People shouldn't neglect their health when faced with the high costs. When you're sick, you should seek out help and be given treatments, medicine, etc. I don't get how people can have any type of stance against health care.
Anyway, at this point we're just waiting back on a few things. Marion should be fully covered by Medicade by the end of the week. On the horizon are some tests that need to be done so we can come up with a treatment plan. I'm thankful for finding the NJ CEEDS program. I'm thankful things are moving along. I just wish that health care in the best country in the world was something that everyone really had access to.
It's just I always thought that hard work and dedication would be rewarded. I realize now that a lot of luck goes into that as well. You need a break or two along the way and I have never had especially good luck. But, that's the way life goes.
Anyway, I was also thinking about the state in this country about health care. Being in a situation where you don't have insurance and you have a really high cost disease like cancer makes you feel helpless. But, why, when you live in a country as great as America does something like that happen? I mean, countries like Canada, Great Britain, and France, the people don't have to worry about these things. Health care is accepted as being the cornerstone of a great country. Why the hell in America do we have people that don't get preventative care, or worse don't seek out a doctor when they need to see one?
When this whole thing with Marion started, we didn't want to go to the hospital because of the cost of seeing a doctor. What kind of world is that? What kind of thinking pattern is it where you would risk your health because of the costs associated with this very basic need? At the time of her first ER trip, Marion had abnormal bleeding for about two months. It wasn't heavy bleeding as of yet, but it was still a concern. When it became heavy bleeding, that's when we *had* to go to the hospital. Still, why did we wait? Because of the immense cost associated with stepping foot into the health care system.
It was actually a question that was asked of us more than once. During the admission process at the first ER trip, Marion was asked why she didn't get this checked out before. I looked at this guy and said, "Because we don't have insurance, and coming here is really expensive." She was asked that question a few more times, and the response I gave was the same as before.
HMOs were one of Nixon's greatest legacies. He signed into law the HMO Act of 1973 that required employers to offer HMOs if they 25 or more employees. Yet, the main reason they were created was to make Health Care in America more of a cash cow as it already was. It was created for the money to roll in, and for the rich to get richer.
Maybe I just don't fathom the costs of health care. But, when I look at the bills, does it really cost 500 or so dollars to read a Cat Scan? Does it cost twenty dollars for a Percocet? Does a trip to the ER (not including the associated Doctor cost) really cost 1700 dollars? I mean, seriously? Why are these costs so inflated? Maybe it has something to do with the doctors trying to pay back 8 years worth of student loans? Or, maybe it has something to do with inflated operating costs? I really can't say as I'm not an economist; I'm just a guy who wants Marion to be okay.
Which brings me to the fact that I feel while the health care reform that went through last year was a step in the right direction, it still didn't address the real issue of having universal health care for everyone. I'm not taking away from the sweeping changes in the system at all. Health care has been an issue for Presidents since FDR, and Obama finally got something started. Well, he got things more than started. But, there is still work to do for sure. People shouldn't neglect their health when faced with the high costs. When you're sick, you should seek out help and be given treatments, medicine, etc. I don't get how people can have any type of stance against health care.
Anyway, at this point we're just waiting back on a few things. Marion should be fully covered by Medicade by the end of the week. On the horizon are some tests that need to be done so we can come up with a treatment plan. I'm thankful for finding the NJ CEEDS program. I'm thankful things are moving along. I just wish that health care in the best country in the world was something that everyone really had access to.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The News
I've been sitting here looking at this blank screen for what seems hours. I just can't wrap my head around things. Since Marion was diagnosed, this cancer is all I can really think about. I've been reading up on it, looking at some ghastly pictures of it, trying to find out how to get medical coverage for it. I'm just trying to cope with it the best way I know how and that is to put my every effort into actively learning about it.
Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should just trust what I hear from the doctors, oncologists, and social workers that have all paraded in front of me in what seems like a psychedelic blur. Perhaps I should have blind optimism in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.
Maybe I should just admit I'm scared and horribly petrified. I can wear this mask well, and act a clown, but all I want to do is cry nearly all day. I mean, I was getting better before today, but the hopes of a New Year dawning have been replaced with the overshadowing doubts of tomorrow.
We had an appointment today to meet Marion's primary oncologist. He was blunt (which I appreciated) and courteous. It's no longer a question of surgery to take care of the tumor, but a radiation and chemotherapy plan which I dreaded hearing (because upon hearing that I knew we were talking at least Stage IIB or IIIA or B cancer). I asked him how large the tumor was...and with the help of a vaginal model he indicated it incorporated the entire cervix. It's pressing onward, and he wasn't sure if it has metastasized to any other areas. He set us up with further testing to be completed soon.
I'm not sure how well I can hold up. I'm trying to stay positive, and Marion is so positive when faced with this it makes me wonder how I would be holding up with this type of diagnosis. She has that rare quality of hearing horrible things and just taking the punches as they come. She has a unique quality (perhaps naively) that everything will work out for the best. I just don't know. If the cancer has metastasized...I can't even finish that sentence. I don't even want to think about it. But, it's all I can think about whether consciously or unconsciously it is all that I DO think about. And, I can't stop. Whether it's thinking about Medicade or thinking about filing for disability or thinking about the side effects from her treatments or whatever...it consumes my every thought process. I try to relax and play a video game or watch TV, but it's all in a haze or some type of perpetual blur. People talk to me and I can't really concentrate on what they're telling me. I'm preoccupied with this horrible disease and I hate it and wish I could just go back to being a jaded son of a gun without any real worries. Now, I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, but I do fear the future.
I hope for the best, but absolutely am fearful of the worst.
And, that makes me sad. So sad.
Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should just trust what I hear from the doctors, oncologists, and social workers that have all paraded in front of me in what seems like a psychedelic blur. Perhaps I should have blind optimism in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.
Maybe I should just admit I'm scared and horribly petrified. I can wear this mask well, and act a clown, but all I want to do is cry nearly all day. I mean, I was getting better before today, but the hopes of a New Year dawning have been replaced with the overshadowing doubts of tomorrow.
We had an appointment today to meet Marion's primary oncologist. He was blunt (which I appreciated) and courteous. It's no longer a question of surgery to take care of the tumor, but a radiation and chemotherapy plan which I dreaded hearing (because upon hearing that I knew we were talking at least Stage IIB or IIIA or B cancer). I asked him how large the tumor was...and with the help of a vaginal model he indicated it incorporated the entire cervix. It's pressing onward, and he wasn't sure if it has metastasized to any other areas. He set us up with further testing to be completed soon.
I'm not sure how well I can hold up. I'm trying to stay positive, and Marion is so positive when faced with this it makes me wonder how I would be holding up with this type of diagnosis. She has that rare quality of hearing horrible things and just taking the punches as they come. She has a unique quality (perhaps naively) that everything will work out for the best. I just don't know. If the cancer has metastasized...I can't even finish that sentence. I don't even want to think about it. But, it's all I can think about whether consciously or unconsciously it is all that I DO think about. And, I can't stop. Whether it's thinking about Medicade or thinking about filing for disability or thinking about the side effects from her treatments or whatever...it consumes my every thought process. I try to relax and play a video game or watch TV, but it's all in a haze or some type of perpetual blur. People talk to me and I can't really concentrate on what they're telling me. I'm preoccupied with this horrible disease and I hate it and wish I could just go back to being a jaded son of a gun without any real worries. Now, I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, but I do fear the future.
I hope for the best, but absolutely am fearful of the worst.
And, that makes me sad. So sad.
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