Saying Goodbye

It's not an earth shattering or even particularly original statement when I say, "I hate funerals". I do. I hate saying goodbye in even everyday mundane instances. The finality of the statement troubles me. I'd rather say "I love you" or "Talk to you later" or something to that effect. There's just a certain amount of finality to the words "goodbye" that on some weird level effects me and I'd rather not say it at all.

Yet, on Saturday afternoon, I said goodbye to my cousin Ron Dixon. There's still a part of me that feels he never knew just how much he meant to me. As a youth, he was my Youth Pastor and friend. Later on, as time usually does, we were still close, but not like I was while growing up. We shared a few memories as time went on. When my Mom passed away, there was absolutely no one I wanted more to be a part of the service than Ron. He graciously accepted and delivered the part of the service I remember most vividly. In the weeks that followed, I saw him a few more times...including seeing him preach an inspired sermon at the In His Presence church in Millville. I usually don't remember the words of sermons, but I still remember the wise words of bringing thanksgiving into thanksliving. Using Psalm 100 as his guideline, he taught a poignant message. Later on, Ron and I shared in what would be our last Millville football game...Thanksgiving 2009. Millville won in a memorable come from behind victory. It's a moment I'll cherish and I thank him for allowing me that time.

It seems another chapter of my childhood has slipped away with the sands of time. I've lost close friends (Hambone & Jason), a parent, and so many other family members. But, as one of the speakers from Ron's service, Pastor Ed Hampton said, "Life is made up of memories". I couldn't agree more. We don't remember the days, we remember the moments. We remember the late night chats over a cup of properly steeped tea. We remember the late night video game marathons. We remember the application of a Band Aid to a fresh scrape. We remember the tears of sadness and the elation of joy. But, when we must say goodbye, in all its finality, we must honor those that have passed too soon...the Mom, the cousin, the friends...by remembering the moments that were special. As my cousin Mike said, by remembering "the legend behind the stories" we have.

In closing, it was an absolute honor to be one of Ron's pallbearers. His wife Denise told me that it was Ron's personal wish for me to be one. I'm thankful for that. I'm thankful for being one of the few that carried Ron to his final resting place...

With tears in my eyes, I'd rather not say goodbye to Ron. I'm just going to say, "I love you" and remember all the times we shared, and all the memories that were created. I miss him profoundly.