What a difference a year can make. Last year at this time was probably one of the worst times in my life. I was still reeling from the recent loss of my Mom in October of 2009. Then, Marion was diagnosed with cervical cancer during the holiday season. It was right after Thanksgiving and directly before Christmas, and at the time I honestly felt as if my entire world was crumbling slowly away.
Things have changed in the past year. Marion went through a very intensive and successful round of chemotherapy and radiation therapy with the wonderful doctors of Cooper University Hospital in Camden, NJ. At her last visit in November, she was told that the tumor (which was quite sizable) can not even be seen at this point. She has minimal scarring from the radiation. Though during the time she was going through the treatments were very dark days, she has rebounded to be a stronger person than before.
There are so many things that have been going on as well. Marion's daughter, Amanda, is now living with us after DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) placed her with us. Basically, she was removed from her father's care by the courts when he was deemed to be unfit (and I'm attempting to put this in the nicest way possible).
Obviously, having a 17 year old living with us after years and years of not having children has been quite a change. There's curfews and worrying about school and battles over who's life it is and all that nonsense that won't matter in five or so years. She's a rather stubborn kid, and she's built up so many defenses after living in horrible conditions for so much of her life. It's a shame it took what it did before the State jumped in and placed her with us. We did go for custody once and were turned down...long story.
But, Amanda is a good kid. Sure, she's missed curfew here and there, and has some weird mood swings, but she's a respectful, loving, good kid. She does exhibit Marion's argument style...which isn't a great thing. They both have a "Shock and Awe" style where they carpet bomb anyone close with various barbs and stealth bomb attacks. It's not really an effective communication style...but, having come from the place she's been, I understand why she has this weird "take no prisoners" style of attack.
See, it's so much easier to give up on yourself and just quit. And, that's what she wants to do. She's had a lifetime's worth of pain and hurt, and I totally get why she just wants to throw in the towel. But, she's worth fighting for. She's worth trying to see that she's worth a damn after being treated like a nothing for most of her life. I want her to succeed. I believe in her and her future.
And, frankly, the few and far between spats that have happened in retrospect weren't all that bad.
Anyway, for the 1st time in a while, I'm looking forward to a new year. Hope you are too.
have a great 2012, Dean....
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