Melodramatic much?

I'm thinking my last post was a bit on the melodramatic side. Granted, that was after 6 or 7 hours sitting (impatiently) in an ER, but still...I came off a bit melodramatic in a way. That's not to say that isn't how I felt at the time, but that my emotions were full tilt.

I am an emotional guy. I hide it pretty well, but I cried the 1st time I watch Titanic. When Rose tried calling out to Jack and he sunk to the bottom of the Atlantic, I cried like a baby right in the theater. Maybe I shouldn't admit that, but it's a good example that sometimes the slightest thing can set me off.

As far as Marion's condition goes, I think she should be okay for the next week. I've been hovering around her since her release and I'm thinking I'll drive her crazy if I ask her if she's okay one more time. She's doing really well considering just how much blood she must have lost during yesterday's ordeal. I don't know how she does it, but she is doing so well. I'm thinking her body just wants a much needed rest, and her body is pretty much telling her to cool it.

I wrote previously that I didn't want her to stop doing what she was doing before. I didn't want her to feel defeated by this thing, this cancer. But, the harsh realization is that she does have to stop pushing herself so damned hard. She's a tough bird, and mentally she's real tough, but she's as stubborn as a two dollar steak. I have to completely takeover doing the cooking (which I honestly don't mind), cleaning (which I DO mind), and everything else.

Another story I want to relay is that the other day she asked me to up her life insurance policy. That killed me. I looked at her and told her not to start thinking that way...ever. Get those defeatist thoughts out of your mind...that things aren't that bad as of yet. And, then yesterday happens. I don't know, but it's just hard. It's so hard to even think that she's sick with this disease. I honestly believe that she can beat this, but we need to know what she's up against. As of right now, without even the staging of the cancer, it makes it hard to say things like, "You'll be okay". Will she? I've looked into the 5 year survival rates of Stage II and III cervical cancers...it's a significant difference in prognosis.

As far as why she's been bleeding the way she has, apparently the tumor in the cervix is corroding the wall of the vagina (another reason why I believe it's stage III). She needs treatment...and my hope is the 17th comes very quickly. Hours seems like days, and days seem like weeks.

I'll leave you with a song that describes how I feel about Marion - Billy Joel's "You're My Home".